Top Ten Signs That Your Relationship Might Be In Trouble

10)  Those late night phone calls he's been getting from his new personal assistant, Steve.

  9)  She suggests a romantic getaway to Cancun then says how much she'll miss you.

  8)  His three latest Facebook friends are named Bambi, Amber and Destiny.

  7)  During lovemaking she cries out, "Do me, Wilford Brimley!"

  6)  You're walking hand in hand along a moonlit Hawaiian beach and all you can think about is whether or not the Packers covered the spread.

  5)  Is that a hint of Raid you detect in that romantic dinner she just prepared?

  4)  Who's this "Jared" guy he's been texting lately?

  3)  The adorable way she dry heaves every time you say "I love you."

  2)  His anniversary gift to you consists of Altoids, a Weight Watchers points book and two bottles of Nair.

  1)  Her pet name for you: Thimbledick

Wilford Brimley: Sex Machine (don't even try to keep up)