9) It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Herpes
8) Do You Smell What I Smell?
7) It Came Upon a Midnight Clear (and Wouldn't Leave Until I Subscribed to The Watchtower)
6) O Little Town of Love Canal
5) Here Comes Santa Claus...and He's Packin' Heat
4) Grandma Got Run Over By a John Deere
3) Jerry Sandusky is Coming to Town
2) I'll Be Home--and Living in Mom's Basement--for Christmas
1) I Saw Mommy Blowing Santa Claus
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| Fruitcake 1, Santa 0 |

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