Top Ten Signs That Newt Gingrich Might Not Be Serious About Running for President

10)  Campaign HQ now on Lido deck of Aegean I

  9)  Constantly whines about grueling noon-2pm campaign schedule

  8)  Recently caught texting photo of bloated stomach to Elisabeth Hasselbeck

  7)  Not crazy about Secret Service code name:  Ass-Face

  6)  Campaign financed entirely by sale of "Ex-Wives vs. Ex-Campaign-Staffers"
       chess sets

  5)  Using hip new AM radio technology to reach out to America's youth

  4)  Has taken to wearing Speedo and Crocs to press conferences

  3)  White House gift shop out, Tiffany’s in

  2)  Refuses to fellate Roger Ailes

  1)  Running mate: Charo

Newt Gingrich hard at work preparing for GOP presidential primary debate 
(moments before being wrestled back into the sea by members of the 
Marine Mammal Stranding Center)