Top Ten Signs That the End of the Word May Be Near

10.  Hallmark introduces new line of “Rapture” cards
  9.  Morley Safer replaced by Charlie Sheen on 60 Minutes
  8.  People are actually buying "Baconnaise"
  7.  ABC debuts Dancing with the Recently Resurrected
  6.  Doritos newest flavor: Bodacious Brimstone
  5.  George W. Bush pronounces “nuclear” correctly
  4.  At dinner my fortune cookie said, “Don’t bother”
  3.  DMV employee smiles and wishes you a nice day
  2.  No more Oprah but at least 9 different versions of The Real Housewives
  1.  Two words: President Trump

Baconnaise: The preferred condiment of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse