Top 10 Reasons to Cut Florida Loose and Let It Drift Out to Sea

10)  Deadly hurricanes, Stand Your Ground laws, rampant COVID-19 and cat-sized hissing cockroaches. What's not to love?

  9)  Anything less than 95° and 100% humidity and everyone cries like a little bitch about how cold it is.

  8)  Simple punch-card ballots beyond the intellectual capacity of state's voting populace.

  7)  Ponce de León’s fabled Fountain of Youth? No. The Burt Reynolds & Friends Museum? Yes.

  6)  Damn near impossible to figure out which beige Buick is yours in the Old Country Buffet parking lot.

  5)  Mar-a-Lago ('nuff said)

  4)  Despite large Jewish population surprisingly difficult to find a decent pastrami on rye.

  3)  Retirement community holiday golf cart parade and pot luck supper mark pinnacle of social season.

  2)  The Everglades: One of nature's pristine wonders or a shitty, malodorous hell-scape teeming with insects, deadly reptiles and parasites whose sole goal in life is to lay their eggs in your urethra?

  1)  State motto: America's Dick.

Burt Reynolds & Friends Museum

100 N US Hwy 1, Jupiter, FL 33477
(561) 743-9955

Thu-Sun: 11-4
Admission: $5.00