Top 10 Signs That It's Time to Lose Weight

10.  Registered for wedding at Old Country Buffet

  9.  Doctor suggests you take up smoking

  8.  Can't go to the beach without being dragged out into the water

  7.  Haven't seen feet since Reagan administration

  6.  Children's names are Ben, Jerry and Little Debbie

  5.  Your dog gives you scraps

  4.  Newly renovated kitchen includes walk-in cookie jar

  3.  You go back for seconds during communion

  2.  Can only achieve orgasm while thinking of Col. Sanders

  1.  Spirit guide: Mayor McCheese